


Glow

by ltfoxyee, theosymphany



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: M/M, Nivanfield, Romance, death and distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-25 16:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3817972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ltfoxyee/pseuds/ltfoxyee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theosymphany/pseuds/theosymphany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death is no excuse; distance is no illusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glow

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Glow](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772569) by [ltfoxyee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ltfoxyee/pseuds/ltfoxyee). 



> _No man is an island,_   
>  _Entire of itself_   
>  _\-- John Donne_

Death, the eternal theme of the battlefield; the everlasting cruelty of war; a shadow that haunts even through lack of acknowledgement. Its reach is felt in the ever present funeral notices on the bulletin board; the lit mortuary quarter through the dead of the night; the empty lockers being cleared out. All are silent reminders to every soldier that each mission could be their last. As their captain, Chris had borne this burden every minute. Every time he watched his team leaping out of their transport, he couldn’t help but think _what if someone didn’t make it back today_. At the start of each mission he’d worry himself sick for his team. At the end of each mission, in additional to the relief and celebrations, Chris never stopped reminding his team to not get cocky, to always stay vigilant.

Chris’ views on life and death were shaped by the many years of witnessing those around him experience sudden loss, compounded with his own scars and sacrifices from years of fighting bioterrorism. When he hears ‘till death do us part’ at a wedding, it doesn’t conjure connotations of an earthshattering, emotional love story, but rather the latent irony within the phrase. In this ever present war- death had forever parted far too many young couples who had everything to live for. Because of this, Chris kept to himself even in his very limited personal free time. Apart from a couple of friends, he no longer bothered to keep many contacts at hand. He had felt that one day the battlefield will claim him too, and it was probably better to keep things the way they were than to leave more crying in his wake.

There were some things Chris kept even from his closest friends. Like the day when his current ATL first reported to Chris’ office. Piers Nivans was dressed in the full splendour of his special forces dress uniform, a dark, respectable green with not one crease out of place, the badges of his old squadron still affixed on his beret. As Chris stood face to face and returned his salute, he could see the blush on the handsome face, the lieutenant’s only tell-tale sign of the enthusiasm and honor at the prospect of being in his new unit.

“I’m very glad you accepted the invitation, Nivans,” He lowered his hand from the salute, gesturing for Piers to sit.

“It is my greatest honor to have you extend a personal invitation, Sir,” the sniper answered, sitting formally on the chair.

“Have you had time to inspect your quarters?” Chris said, as he started rummaging amongst the piles of papers on his desk.

“I had, Sir,” Piers replied, “I’ve moved everything in.”

“You don’t have to call me sir each time, this isn’t like the special forces,” Chris gave a small dismissive wave. “I’m your captain, and I’m your partner. Ah, here it is,” Chris finally found a slip from the messy piles.

“Here is the week’s schedule for Alpha team, you’ll be able to meet the others on the team then.”

“Yes, s…ahh….” Piers paused, “Captain.”

Chris nodded. “Anything else, Nivans?”

“Yes,” Piers said, “Can you call me Piers?”

“Of course,” Chris smiled, “Piers.”

“Captain,” He stood, exchanged a salute and headed to door. As he reached for the handle he turned back. “I won’t let you down,” Piers smiled, revealing two thin laughing lines on his face. He walked out briskly before Chris had a word.

If Chris were more in touch with Greek mythology, perhaps Piers would have reminded him of the fabled characters who had smitten even the Gods with their beauty. Chris was not a man of flowery language. He had never considered "beautiful" a fitting word for a man--- until he had met Piers. When Piers turned and smiled, Chris thought he saw a faint glow emanating from his body, one that left him captivated for several minutes after. He only realized a long time later that it was but a mere reflection of the sun on his uniform.

Piers’ admiration for his captain was plain obvious, even to someone as unobservant as Chris. Of course, every member of Alpha team held a very high regard for their captain to a certain extent, but Piers’ was the most noticeable. Chris was of coursed pleased at the ego boost, but he also felt it highlighted the weight and responsibility of his leadership. Each time when Piers was sent alone to take down a target, he couldn’t help but reiterate for Piers to be careful and stay safe.

“Don’t worry about me, Captain,” Piers always answered, “I know what I’m doing, but you need to take care of yourself.”

Chris never failed to smile at those words.

* * *

 

As his friends settled down and started their own families, Chris finally felt the growing gap between he and his friends. Their lives had a new center, and even Barry, who he would catch up over a drink with once a week was kept busy looking after his wife and kids. Piers however, was similar to Chris in that he didn't seem as keen on going out and socializing on the weekends as his teammates. So the pair often found themselves spending their free time together, whether it be tossing a baseball around the park for an afternoon, or watching the football game at the pub with a beer in the evenings. Although Chris had always kept his distance to others, he was grateful to have the time and attention from at least one other person. Spending time with Piers wasn’t like that with Barry or the others. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, just a sense that Piers was different. _Maybe it was the generation gap_ , some nights Chris would think, chuckling at himself.

* * *

 

One weekend Jill invited everybody over for a BBQ party, asking Chris to come early to prepare his ‘legendary BBQ sauce”. In addition to some close friends from HQ, Jill invited many colleagues around the office, filling the house with 20 or so people. Chris had spent most of the time intently working the BBQ, paying little heed to the conversations around him.

“Smells great,” A familiar voice rang out to his ears. Piers was suddenly at his side holding two bottles of beer.

“Hey, when did you get here?” He asked, prodding at the ribs on the sizzling BBQ with a fork. “This one is ready, have you got your plate?”

“I’ll have it later,” Piers shook his head as he passed Chris a beer. “I’ve watched you work the barbecue for ages, let me keep an eye for you and you can take a break, Captain,”

Chris had only realized at this moment that he was indeed parched. He passed Piers the tongs, caught the beer and took a few swigs before remembering to utter a ‘thank you’.

“Don’t mention it,” Piers smiled, turning over the ribs with a practiced ease, “I’ve heard great things at the BSAA about the famous Redfield BBQ, and now I finally get to try it for myself.”

“Haha,” Chris gave a dismissive wave, “the secret is just to have fresh ingredients.”

“Too right,” Piers nodded, “When I was little dad use to take a couple of us out hunting in his breaks. There’s nothing tastier than fresh venison.”

“True that……” Chris remembered the days where he and Barry would go turkey hunting for Thanksgiving. “It’d be great to shoot at something that’s not a BOW once in a while.”

“There’s a couple of hunting zones not far from the base,” Piers suggested, “We could go there one of these weekends……”

“I like that idea,” Chris nodded in agreement, “It’s been ages since I took you guys to blow off some steam, the others should like it too.”

“The others?” Piers stared at Chris for a few seconds, looking as if he wanted to say something. “Oh, yes, the others in the team” He gave a dry chuckle, fixing his attention back on the BBQ.

Piers’ ears turned very pink. If Chris hadn’t known him, he would have thought Piers looked embarrassed…. With that, it was as if the final piece of the puzzle finally clicked into place, and Chris finally realized why he felt Piers was different from the others. As he mulled over the details and the many tell-tale signs that he’d missed, he knew he should have known long ago that the sniper had feelings for him beyond that of friendship. He looked down at his beer only to notice that Piers even kept track of his favorite brands. “Piers….” He was so touched.

“What is it?” Piers looked up, the embarrassment from prior replaced with his usual disposition.

The fight or flight response is a human instinct. Chris had never thought about fleeing on the battlefield, but right now he knew he had to make an escape and do it quickly. “I…err…” Chris looked left and right. “I’m going for a smoke.” He left his bottle and ran to the street for his reprieve. Honestly, Chris had never thought anyone would have a crush on him, least of all someone like Piers. He thought back to the day the sniper first entered his office. Piers was by far the most beautiful man he had ever seen, and this man liked _him_! Chris was not repulsed, but rather feeling flattered. Maybe he _should_ spend a weekend with just Piers, hunting, shooting, and sharing a tent… Chris took a strong drag from his cigarette, trying to compose himself. He stared at the smoldering butt in a trance. He was used to keeping everybody at arm’s length, but this time it was going to be a challenge. Maybe he’d already been so used to being around Piers that he didn’t want to go back to the days where he only had himself for company. Whatever it was, Piers was already entrenched in his life. Chris had a small hopeful thought. Maybe if he just kept things the way they were, Piers might give up and eventually leave him alone. However, he didn’t know in his heart whether he would truly be happy if it ever happened.

* * *

 

Piers’ idea for hunting and camping became a reality soon after. Ben set his tent on fire on the second day, but luckily they were able to put it out before the whole place burnt down. Ben was stuck in Andy’s tent that evening, causing a racket throughout the night as they fought for space that made everyone else complain for the rest of the trip. Chris was the only one who had a great night sleeping through the whole thing.

He would still spend an afternoon with Piers throwing a ball on the weekend, but he now drank a little less when watching the games at the pub. He didn’t want alcohol to take away his inhibitions and make things more complicated. He also started showing up to all of BSAA’s social and fundraising events, his consistent appearances managing to draw in many more sponsors, a fact that surprised even Chris himself.

“How come you’re so social all of a sudden? I’m seriously freaked out,” Jill mentioned one night after having one too many.

“Well it’s what you always wanted right? For me to come along to these events? Why is it freaking you out now?” Chris tried to keep his tone casual.

“I just hope you weren’t coming because you were fleeing from something else.” Jill was studying him with squinted eyes, raising goosebumps on Chris’ skin.

“Save your therapy, Jill”, Chris took her glass away and passed it to a waiter, “You’re almost drunk.”

“Alright,” Jill gave a wave, “You want to grab a bite after this thing finishes?”

“Err….” Chris struggled to find his words. “I'd already promised to catch up with Piers over dinner…..”

“Wait.” Jill was looking at Chis as if she was detective Holmes, making him squirm uncomfortably. “You had already made plans with him for tonight?”

“Yeah….er….” Chris tried to find a reasonable excuse. That afternoon Piers had asked him if he was free for a movie, but he had to decline because he was already committed for the BSAA event.

_“I see,” Piers paused, “You seemed very busy lately.”_  
_“Oh…yeah...” Chris offered dryly, "you know, we need funds for the new equipment.”_  
_“Of course,” the sniper nodded, “perhaps another day then.”_  
_Chris felt like he kicked a lost puppy at the sight of Piers’ expression. He couldn’t bear the hurt on his face._  
_“Hey…” He added after a pause, “I should be out of the social by 7 or 8 ish, maybe we could….grab a burger or something after?”_

Even now as he thought back to the afternoon he could feel the heat of Piers’ intense gaze upon hearing those words. Jill’s keen eye quickly pulled him back to reality.

“So,” Jill said, with annoyance in her voice, “why didn’t you call him to join you here then?”

“ _That's_ what you're upset about?” Chris was inwardly relieved, “Don’t try to drag my boys into this, it’s bad enough that I’m suffering here.”

Chris threw himself into the bed, exhausted and frustrated at the end of that night. It wasn’t just the social that was draining him, but also because the dinner with Piers went _too_ well. He felt he was leading Piers on, feeding him false hope. He felt like his life was becoming a paradox. On the one hand he was building a wall, building it higher and higher to guard his heart and keep everyone else out, and on the other hand he was scaling on the wall higher and higher himself trying to escape from his own prison. The higher he climbed, the higher he built the wall. It was an endlessly exhausting downward spiral.

* * *

 

The spiral was only reprieved on the battlefield when they were staring straight into the gaze of the reaper. Chris had never tried to make things sound too solemn before a mission, but he just wished in his heart that everything would go well.

“Take care when you’re scouting,” He put a hand to Piers’ shoulder and gave a squeeze. “I’ll see you at Queen of Clubs.”

“Don’t worry, Captain,” Piers gave a light pat on the hand, “I know what I’m doing, but you need to take care of yourself.” He launched out of the plane with those words.

In that fleeting instant, Chris really wished he could have given Piers a kiss. The thought provided a welcoming distraction to the shadow of death.

The rescue mission went as well as it could until they heard a cry for help as they were wrapping up the mission. “I thought there were only four hostages?” Chris was yelling in the comms to HQ, “Why is there still one on the roof?”

“Captain Redfield, it appears there’s an error in the intel,” HQ replied calmly. “We’ll delay the time the airstrike.  You have 10 minutes.”

“Damn it, there's no time for backup. Piers, come with me,” He looked at the rest of the team. “You guys escort the civilians to the evac point now.”

“You ready?” They were at the door to the rooftop, Chris turning to catch his sniper’s eye.

“Born ready,” Piers gave a firm nodded and kicked down the door with his captain, rushing onto the roof.

Piers covered Chris as he advanced, clearing the falling enemies from the skies with his machine pistol while Chris took precise shots with his handgun to keep the hostage safe. He approached the shaking, middle aged man to check his condition. It seemed he was just shaken from the attack. Chris took off his bulletproof vest without a moment’s thought and placed it over the man, despite Piers’ nervous reminders that the zone was still hot.

“The chopper’s picked up the boys and they’re on our way, we can wait here for evac,” Chris was repeating himself, trying to reassure Piers. “I---“

His words were cut shot by a bullet from nowhere. As Piers turned, he saw a burst of red explode right across Chris’ chest as if it were in slow motion, his Captain tumbling backwards to the ground, and his green shirt quickly stained to a dark crimson.

“CAPTAIN!!” Piers rushed to Chris’ side, pushing a hand on the bleeding wound while searching for the source of the shot. A wounded enemy was on the ground, his trigger still aiming at the pair. As Piers was about to return fire, he heard a few more shots rang out from his side. He turned and saw the rescued hostage trembling as he finished the enemy off with Chris’ dropped handgun.

Only now could Piers afford to fix his full attention on Chris’ wound. He took off his jacket and pressed it to the wound, trying to staunch the rapid flow. “HQ, Captain Redfield is shot, we need the medic team,” He swallowed, trying in vain to quell the panic in his voice, “He took a bullet in the chest, I repeat, he took a bullet in the chest, requesting medical help immediately!”

“Roger that, Lieutenant Nivans,” HQ gave a prompt reply. “Medics are on the way, they'll be there in a minute. Do what you can to keep Captain Redfield awake.”

“Captain, Captain did you hear that?” Piers was studying Chris’ pupil, relieved that it was not dilated. Chris still seemed conscious. “The medics will be here in a minute, don’t move, I’m right here.”

“Piers,” Chris tried to lift an arm, “I need to tell you something.”

“Shhh…Captain, not now,” Piers watched Chris’ face getting paler and paler, but there was nothing he could do except to keep his blood soaked hands on the wound. “Tell me when you get through this.”

“No…” Chris shook his head weakly, his irregular breaths choking out his own voice, “I need to tell you now.”

“Captain, don’t talk like that,” Piers interrupted, “You’re gonna be fine.”

“Perhaps,” Chris tried to chuckle, but instead a line of viscous blood ran from the corner of his mouth. “But…I can only bear to tell you...now…”

“Cap…”

“You mean a lot to me,” Chris ignored Piers’ plea, struggling to get the words out, “I care more about you than you would ever know ...cough...” He took a few deeper breaths. “That day you first walked into my office, I had thought that you were the most beautiful man I’d seen.” There was a glint of moisture in his eyes. Perhaps it was from the pain, perhaps from something else. “You were practically glowing…”

“Captain, as much as I’m really glad to be hearing all this, “Piers cradle Chris’ face, trying to help him calm down. “You really have to stay calm for now.”

“I don’t know what you see in me” Chris said, as if it was a joke, but Piers couldn’t find any humor. He was on the verge of falling apart at the avalanche of thoughts and emotions that Chris’ confession had evoked.

“Chris Redfield is the greatest man I’d ever known,” Piers replied with a sniff, himself on the brink of tears, “Really. Don’t say anymore.”

“The true reason I kept my distance from you ….” Chris gave in to a fit of coughs, sputtering blood from his mouth, “was because I was afraid….that If I were to lose you out on the field, I couldn’t live with myself……”

“Captain……Captain?!” Pier saw Chris’s eyes draw to a close with a final, weary smile. “Captain, wake up!” He gently slapped Chris’ cheeks, trying to bring him back. “MEDIC!” Piers looked around, desperate for help, crying himself hoarse for the medical team. He dare not cast another glance onto Chris’ face, hoping as if by not checking on Chris he could ward off any attention from the reaper.

That minute felt like half a century. By the time the medic team finally got to his side, Piers was numb from the inside. How could _he_ live with himself if he were to lose Chris here on the field? He watched the medics in a nervous panic as they supplied oxygen and tried to stop the flow of blood. They had removed his blood soaked jacket from the wound and began applying a field dressing, but all Piers could see was a blight of crimson.

His hope had dawned when the lead medic finally confirmed “There’s still a pulse, but it’s very weak.” The experienced medical team quickly got Chris to the chopper, but stopped Piers when he tried to follow. “You’ll only get in the way if you come with us now, go wait for him at the hospital.”

* * *

 

“Hurrgh…” Chris woke to a groggy sight of a blur of red hair by his bedside. “Claire?”

“My God, you’re finally up,” Claire was at his side in an instant, concern in her eyes.

“Why are you here?” Chris saw the bandages on his chest, “I’m at the hospital?”

“You’ve been out for 24 hours,” Claire said as she pressed the button for the nurse, “Piers called me, I flew in during the night.”

“OK….where’s Piers?” Chris took a look around the ward to see Piers curled up on the couch, covered with one of the hospital blankets.

“He’s been here since you were released from the operation. He hadn’t slept for the entire day.” Claire whispered softly, “so I only just made him get some rest first.”

“Captain?” Piers shot up at Chris’ voice and made his way over. He was still in his combat gear; his jacket was gone and only had a t shirt on. “You’re awake!”

“Yeah,” Chris nodded weakly, “It’s good to see you again.”

Piers sighed with a mixture of joy and anguish. “We were worried sick about you.”

The head nurse came in at this time, “Captain Redfield,” she said, greeting Chris, then started busily scribbling details on a clipboard. “You look like you had stabilized. You were extremely lucky. The bullet missed your heart by 2 millimeters.” She returned the clipboard. “I’ll get you some water, the doc will give you a check-up.”

Claire followed the nurse out saying she also needed a drink, and apart from the ECG beeping in the background, silence returned to the dimly lit room. Maybe it was the anesthetic, but Chris still felt extremely weak as he slowly reached out to take Pier’s hand. He gave a small smile and nodded as the knotted brows slowly relaxed.

“Sigh…” Piers was shaking his head in resignation, but suddenly changed his tone. “You stupid bastard.”

“Haha,” He let out a soft laugh, “I guess I deserve that.”

“Actually you were completely right,” Piers gripped his hand tightly. “Perhaps one day either or both of us will die on the battlefield,” His gaze lingered over the bandages on Chris’ chest, “but everyone’s going to die someday. To me that isn’t an excuse. Rather, it’s precisely because my time is limited that I don’t want to hold any regrets. No matter what, I am going to give it my best shot, and that applies-- to how I feel about you.”

“……about that movie”, Chris gently rubbed his thumb over the back of Piers’ hand, “Let’s catch it once I’m out of here.”

“It’s a date then,” Piers nodded.

“Yes,” he wanted to say more, but the door opened at that moment. In addition to Claire and the doctor, they were flooded by a surprising number of visitors including Jill, Barry’s whole family and most of Alpha team.

“The doctors said we have five minutes,” Jill said, noticing the held hands between the pair but choosing not to comment. “We were just checking up on you to see if you’re alright.”

“I feel pretty good,” Chris said, “for someone who just took a bullet,” He gestured.

“Here, take these,” Barry placed a basket of muffins on the bench. “The girls made them for you,” gesturing to his wife and daughters.

“Thank you” Chris nodded with appreciation, then teased Barry “It’s like I don’t get to see you these days unless I take a bullet or two.”

“Hey don’t mention it, you seem to be doing pretty swell now,” Barry exchanged a glance with Piers, then said “when you’re out we can catch up for drinks, and Piers can join us.”

“I’ll hold you to it” Chris said as the pair exchanged a fist bump.

“Captain,” Jeff hopped in on a crutch, “We’re just checking you’re doing ok, we’ve got to be back by curfew time.”

“What happened to your leg?” Chris didn’t think anyone else got injured from the last mission.

“Girl problem,” Jeff left it ambiguous.

“He got smashed by one of the chicks in Bravo team,” Andy confessed.

“Dude!” Jeff immediately cut him shot, “We agreed this was going to stay between us!”

Andy gave an innocent shrug, “Captain,” he turned, “Carl and Ben couldn’t make it, they’re filling in the reports for you. Don’t worry, we’ll stay out of trouble until you’re back.”

“Ahh,” Chris looked at Jeff’s leg, “I’m not worried _at all_.”

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen” the doctor finally said. “Please head out now, Captain Redfield needs his rest.”

“Piers, we should get going too,” Claire brushed his elbow, “You have a curfew too right? Bro, we’ll see you tomorrow at visiting hours.”

“Alright,” Chris reluctantly let go of Piers’ hand. “You need a good rest too.”

“Yes, Captain,” Piers stood and shot a glance at Claire and the doctor. The pair turned around in acknowledgement. Piers bent over to kiss Chris gently on his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“…and everyday hereafter,” Chris added softly.

He let out a long, long sigh after everybody had left the ward. Perhaps distance was merely an illusion after all. What matters beneath will never, never change.

END

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written by ltfoxyee  
> Translated by theosymphany  
> Translated with permission.  
> Check out other translated works [here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ltfoxyee/pseuds/ltfoxyee/works)


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